Child custody is often the most difficult and emotionally taxing part of a separation. While you and your spouse have decided that a divorce is the best option for both of you, nothing will ever separate you from your children—but unfortunately, your spouse seems to share that opinion. Your ex may even have threatened to play up the negative aspects of your potential custody—long hours at work, an uncertain living situation, an unstable career choice. Unfortunately, these “playing dirty” tactics can have lifelong consequences for you and your children, and retaliating can make matters even worse.
What Should I Consider Before I Attend My Divorce Deposition?
You and your spouse may have attempted to work out a custody deal on your own, but weren’t able to reach an agreement. These arguments can turn bitter, even hostile, to the end that nobody is happy with the outcome—least of all, your children. Before you enter your child custody deposition, consider what “winning” may mean:
- To you. You must look past your own needs when deciding custody. If you want your children to live with you merely because you want to make your ex unhappy, don’t do it. If you want partial custody, but cannot realistically make time for your children, reconsider. Evaluate not just what you want, but why you want it.
- To your children. Your children will likely be torn in different directions during a custody battle, so you should make the transition as easy as possible. You and your spouse will have to get along after the divorce, at least at a cordial level, in order to ease the stress on your kids. Avoid making comments about your ex in their presence, and let them know that you will always be available to them, no matter with whom they live.
- To your spouse. Children are a lifelong commitment, and like it or not, your spouse shares half of that commitment. You will have to see, call, visit, and endure your ex-spouse as long as your children are living, so avoid burning your bridges. A little courtesy can go a long way.
- To your partner. If you have entered into a serious relationship with a new partner, you should have an open and honest conversation about children before agreeing to a custody arrangement.
- To the family. The people involved in this separation are your family. You need to come out with workable arrangement that holds up for the foreseeable future, with room for improvement if your situations change. If it is in some way beneficial to everyone, you have “won.”